29th April 2008 (Tue) 5-7.30pm Natural Products Format: MCQ + Short Questions Progress so far: 45%
3rd May 2008 (Sat!) 9-11.30am Pharmacotherapy III Format: 70MCQ + 1 SOAP Progress so far: 20%
7th May 2008 (Wed) 1-3.30pm Dosage Form Design III Format: 60MCQ + choose 2 out of 3 long questions Progress so far: 0% !!
Prediction: Bad :(
Did not sleep well the past 2 nights... Waking up at 4AM (Thurs) and 3AM (Fri) respectively with abdominal discomfort (such a broad term cause I do not know is stomachache or tumor pain or bloatedness etc.)... Tried to study on that Thurs 4AM but was too sleepy to concentrate.. read 2 pages (quite impressive considering the time) and decided to take 2 Panadols and went to zzz til 8AM -_-" On Fri 3AM, stared at the Panadol, Panadeine, Tramadol and Lorazepam, deciding which to take... First 3 are pain killers, last one is sleeping pill... Dr's voice in my head, "if you can't sleep due to pain, take the painkiller. If you can't sleep due to more than pain (i.e. thinking too much etc.), take the sleeping pill" Definitely due to tummy discomfort, but not exactly pain... Finally decided to take a piece of biscuit (probably hungry) and went back to sleep in discomfort... Luckily could fall asleep... As a result, I had been taking more afternoon naps... Sigh... How to study?
Tumor pain is back yesterday night after disappearing for 2 days.... :(
Saw the oncologist today regarding my pain. Nothing from the scan, tumor is stable. Liver function test is normal except the Alkaline Phosphatase (ALP), but not too high. Conclusion: Tumor pain. Solution: Continue taking pain killer. Panadeine is not helping much so I have upgraded to Tramadol, which will also make me drowsy. zzz
However, my 6th cycle of chemotherapy is pushed back to 12th May (after my final examinations). Reason: If I go ahead with chemotherapy this Wed-Fri, I will be suffering from the side effects next week. I will be very tired since my red blood cells count is quite low. And Dr said I MUST pass the exams and pass him a copy of my degree to be stapled in the case report file -_-" HaHa..
I went to see the doctor in the university clinic to get him to fill in the Special Consideration Form for me yesterday. The form is for my final examinations to ensure that I pass my examinations. The doctor that I usually see had just stepped out of the clinic so I had to see another doctor. Heard funny stories about this doctor before but I had not seen him till yesterday. He was really funny! Anyway, he asked whether I need more time for the examinations and I said, "I don't think so." Can you believe it? Later that evening, my lecturer-cum-pharmacist in NUH called me regarding the Special Consideration issue. And she said that I should have asked for more time! -_-" Sigh.........
All is well now though cause I contacted the Uni clinic doctor for the extra time and he will help me to settle it :)
Got to study hard now though drowsy from the painkiller......................................
Today is Sunday again! The week had zoomed past me. It was the last week of school. Last week of my uni life. Last week of my entire education.
Last Sunday, the gang-YJ n gf, JE, CC and SM came to play board games at Red Dot Cafe.. Winson joined us later. We played a "duck hunting" game which was rather easy to play but quite fun at the same time. Then we played "Saboteur" which was a harder game but just as fun... :)
On Wednesday, Khim and I brought KY's birthday cake to their house to surprise her. BUT we got shocked instead cause KY was sitting in the living room and the moment I peeped into the house, I was face-to-face with the one we wanted to surprise. Plan failed -_-"
Anyway, we got a blueberry cheesecake for her which was very yummy! :) Then we had dinner together at Ocean :)
Then, on Thursday I was back in NUH. I was having some abdominal pain since last Friday. But it was just a very dull pain, something like "stitches" that you get when running or walking too fast after a big meal... The only discomfort was I could not lie straight on my back when sleeping. I could only lie on my side. So I ignored the pain till around Tue when it affected my mobility. It became more painful the further I walked. On Wednesday night, it got so bad I could not even lie on my side, thus affecting my sleep.
So, I contacted my Dr and went to see him on Thursday morning. He gave me 2 options; either get myself hospitalised and he would schedule me for CT scan as soon as possible OR go home and take the painkiller strictly till CT scan scheduled on Monday morning. My mother was leaving for Bworth that night, so I did not want to be in the hospital. I chose to go home and take the pain meds.
What's the cause of the pain?
1. tumor rupture which sometimes happen OR
2. tumor grown (disease progress) which is bad
The answer can only be known from the CT scan...
Friday was the last day of school!! I had a lecture from 4-6pm. Despite still having some pain, I decided to go for this last lecture of my entire uni life. The lecturers planned a game for us called "Jeopardy" where we were roughly divided into 6 groups. My group was called "Happy Tree Friends". HaHa. Well, according to the lecturer we were more creative than our seniors who called themselves all sorts of drugs' name like "chlorpheniramine", "allopurinol" etc. We had "Flaming Lamborghini", "No Idea", "AC-Gym Instructor" (insider joke), "Johnie Walker" and "Sleep Club". HaHa!
We were supposed to fight to answer the questions picked and the group who got the correct answer would get the marks as stated on the box for each question. The questions were based on Pharmacotherapy III, of course. And 1 unrelated question which asked the group to list all the lecturers in the Pharm Dept with the surname "Chan" -_-". The winner group would get extra credit! Our group almost won! ALMOST -_-"'
After the lecture, people were busy taking photographs. Actually before the lecture, they were already taking photographs. Then, Khim, Thunder, WX, WY, Bird, YK and I went to Holland V for xiao long bao! :)
-still waiting for photos from people with camera-
Sigh.. I wish I have a camera...
Look what came in the mail on Friday. A postcard from Melbourne. Thanks, Yvonne! :)
I am still feeling the pain at the abdomen. So, now I walk pretty slowly. Well, my Dr always ask me to "Hang in there for me, ok?". Me, "Ok.......". Dr, "Good girl". -_-"'
Random thoughts:
1. Does being a pharmacy student make it easier for me to go through this difficult period? Is it easier to sit through a lecture of economics or something non-medical related than to sit through a lecture talking about "Depression" which list cancer patients as high risk group of having depression while you ARE having cancer?
2. I found out, even after telling quite a number of people about my conditions throughout these 4 months, it does not get any easier whenever I need to tell another person about it.
3. And how to decide which friend to tell and which friend not to tell?
4. How will these friends react to it? Mostly had been nice. Not asking too much and just offering any help I need even though they do not know how they can help. Thanks, people.
5. Had been thinking about this for a super long time. Should I write a will now? Not that I have a lot of money or properties but what about my bank ATM pin number? And things like "Can I have friends and family bring a white rose each for the funeral?"
I like gerbera daisies the MOST but they are too colourful for a solemn occasion. White roses (not the full-bloomed type) on the other hand are classy and nice cause I like white :) Well, I am not giving up on my life but you would not know what will happen. I hope the pain can go away soon. I still have to study for my FINAL final exams and a lot of things to settle.
Meeting friends before I leave (who should I meet and how to tell those who do not know yet?) ...
Settle admin stuffs...
Eat food that is not available in Msia yet like Ben & Jerry's!
But I had been advised not to take sweet things cause cancer cells like sugar.. -_- Well, hanging in there for as long as I can! Pray for me? Thanks :)
We celebrated KY's birthday last Saturday (her birthday is actually today) at Suki Sushi... It rained extremely heavily that day and we were half drenched when we reached Orchard Cineleisure... Cine should really consider building a covered walkway to link it to one of the MRT stations... Well, the rain did a good thing by stopping people from crowding for the sushi buffet. So, we had 2 adjacent tables to fit the 12 of us :)
The everyone who went and Weiying who was the one who took these two pictures
Notice the similarity between the above 2 pictures? One had my head from the next table and the second one had CM's head from the next table..HaHa.. We didn't plan it and only realised it when we looked at the pictures =P
Funny pic of only birdie looking at the camera...
The mess we made
No sashimi for me though... But had a lot of tempura >.<>
Yesterday, I went out ... to civilization. >.< Our lecturer moved the Friday 4-6pm lecture slot to 2.30-4pm due to great demand from the class. And that, gave us an opportunity for an impromptu movie at 4.45pm! I was a little apprehensive at first since it was Day10 which means my neutrophils are starting to go down and thus my immune system may not be strong enough to be exposed to crowds at a shopping mall. BUT I so wanted to go watch a movie, plus it's a weekday (although Friday) afternoon. Should have less people. Decided to go ahead and 4 of (Thunder, Swei, Bird and I) flagged a cab right after lecture and off we went to Vivo City :) (haven't been to VivoCity the whole semester!) Watched "The Other Boleyn Girl". There were only about 10 people in the cinema, which was great! HaHa.. 4 of us had a whole row to ourselves :) Saw the trailer on YouTube a while ago when I was telling Swei about "Atonement" and she felt that the sibling rivalry is rather the same as in this new movie. Even checked out Rotten Tomatoes at that time for its rating which was not too good; only about 30+% while Atonement's was way higher.
Anyway, the movie was rather good. It felt like a long movie but it was just nicely 2 hours. The actresses were good; besides the 2 leads, the one who played Queen Catherine and the one who played the mother of the Boleyn girls were great as well. I think Scarlett Johansson is really pretty in this show! I never thought of her as pretty. I think Natalie Portman is pretty although I do not particularly like her but Scarlett was really pretty in this show. Looks better in motion than in pictures, I feel...
The guys in the show are quite pathetic though.. The King... sigh.. The Boleyn brother...double sigh! and the Boleyn father.... zzzz...
Talking about movie, I watched 3 movies on HBO during that 5-day NUH week. HaHa. Instead of studying on Monday while waiting to be CT Scan-ed, I watched "The Hitcher". Typical thriller + chick-flick but rather intense and thus captured my attention for that nearly 2 hours I was drinking the yellow contrast thingy...
I like Sophia Bush in One Tree Hill and I like her in "The Hitcher". Pretty.
Then, on the long chemo Wednesday, I watched "The Weatherman" by Nicholas Cage. Funniest thing in the movie is how he always get thrown at with fast food. McNuggets, sundae, apple pie! That was followed by "My Best Friend's Wedding"! An old movie but I never successfully finished watching it. All I ever could remember was the airport scene and I think that's like the earliest scene in the movie. Finally, I finished watching it and it's nice!
Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws
Swei gave me a calendar end of last year. It was a beautiful one with pretty drawings and meaningful quotes on each page for each day. The calendar is called "A Brand New Day". Some of the quotes had kept me going on when I felt really down. I did not flip through all the pages to see all the quotes because I want to see a new quote everyday.
There were 2 instances when this calendar did kind of shocked me by its presence. The first time was when my neutrophil count was really low and was hoping for it to go up and it went up just in time for chemo. I felt like it was a small miracle and when I came back from chemo that day, I flipped the calendar and the quote was, " Every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle." Exactly what I felt at that time!
This morning, I was lying in bed refusing to wake up just yet. My mom was already up at 5.30AM. She prayed and then started to cut fruits to make fruit juice for me at 6+AM and she slept later than me the night before. Then, it just crossed my mind that a mother's love is so great, so priceless, so unparalleled, so unbelievable. Sometimes I feel that I cannot comprehend what a mom can do for their children.
I woke up, flipped the calendar for the page of the day and saw, "Sometimes, the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws." -Barbara Kingsolver-
Love your mom, love your dad, love your family, love your friends.
Health updates Monday: Was at NUH for CT scan, X-ray and blood tests. Tuesday: Went back to see the oncologist. Thank you CM, for accompanying me after lecture :) The CT scan continued to show improvements, not as much as the previous one though. Some bigger tumors in the liver are more stubborn than the rest. Dr didn't mention about the one at the tail of the pancreas though and I just remembered I forgot to ask him in the email I just sent -_-" The full report was not out, so I have to wait for the report by email. Tumor markers remained stable, would be better if they had gone down though. Liver enzymes had almost all normalised which is good. In conclusion, still responding to treatment, so most probably going to go to the max of 8 cycles. However, my neutrophil count was low. Too low for chemotherapy to be continued the next day. My absolute neutrophil count (ANC) needs to be at least 1.5 x something something for chemotherapy to be continued. ANC that is too low will predispose me to febrile neutropenia where the body will be unable to mount any immune response in case of infection. That is VERY dangerous! CM and I both gave the Dr a "Huh?!" when he said I need to delay chemo by another week. So, he asked me to be back the next day for another Full Blood Count (FBC) and hope the ANC would have increased by then, which was rather unlikely since my count was only 0.6 x something something..HeHe... Wednesday: Well, went back to NUH in the morning with my mom to have another FBC done. At 10+ am, the nurse called me in for chemotherapy! which meant that my ANC had increased to sufficient level for chemo to continue. YEah!~ The nurses were all rather curious at my special ability to summon my neutrophils to come out in time for chemo. This was not the first time my ANC had been low when I consult the Dr and shot up the very next day for chemo. The nurses wanted to know what miracle drug I took so that they can teach other patients with the same problem as me. My tips: no miracle drug or food. Only enough food, enough rest and PRAYERS! plus visualisation. believe it or not, when I pray, I picture the neutrophils coming out from my bone marrow and maturing, then they enter the bloodstream to be circulated to the whole body. Well, it helps if you know how neutrophils look like .. HeHe (go google it)
The bad thing on Wednesday was I got poked 3 times before successfully locating the vein for chemo. Painful! *sobz* As you go through more chemo, it gets harder to get good veins cause the drugs are so toxic. :(
Thursday: Cycle 5 Day 2. Poked ONCE only, luckily. But was very tired.. slept the entire afternoon and did not feel like eating much. Just wanted to zzz...
Friday: Cycle 5 Day 3. Poked once but just as tired.... Zzz.. some reading for test on Tuesday. Watched some drama and more Zzzz... fainted on the bed at 8.30pm till this morning! woke up near 11pm for a pee and the next thing I know, it's 6am! The anti-emetic, dexamethasone is supposed to make me unable to sleep. But no effect. 45mins after taking it, I was in dreamland... Zzz...
Thus ends my 5-day NUH week.
Mom had gone home for 2 days. Time for prayers and zzz... Nite!
Havent been blogging for about 2 weeks. Too caught up in studies and my Final Year Project. A quick update for tonight. Hopefully less tired tomorrow and can blog :)
That Saturday after the nauseated week, the pharmies girls came to have a Chocolate Fondue party! yeah! (^_^)v The 404 girls bought a lot of fruits...
pineapples, professionally cut by KY... and baked by master chef, WX...
Strawberries and kiwis! professionally cut by pretty housewife, Khim and master chef WX again :D
Marie biscuits proudly sponsored by me and bananas, professionally peeled from the comb by me! :D and somebody's hand...
There were also apples...
The main character was chocolate! sponsored by the 404 girls I think...
Some of the happy pharmies with their choc covered fruits... Love this pic the most... Me love strawberries, me love bananas and me love pineapple!
All of the pharmies who came... still like to pose with my "Lan Kwai Fong" road sign even after a year.. HeHe.. rather useful souvenir eh?
Master chef, WX's creative work on Marie biscuits.. cute and nice! :D Packed for those who couldn't come...
Sunday was spent watching drama and studying for Natural Products lab test on Monday. The test was rather disastrous as my TLC (Thin Layer Chromatography not Tender, Loving, Care) plate was not showing the desired results... zzz... But it's over. No point crying over spilt milk..
Mom and dad came back on Tuesday morning. The next few days were spent studying for Pharmacy Practice's one-to-one medication counselling. Topic was on Paediatrics. Was quite disastrous again cause we had to teach the "mother of the patient" how to use 2 types of inhalers for asthma plus counsel her on the use of this antibiotic suspension which comes in granule form. I did not know about it, thinking it was in suspension form. Was practically staring at the reference book, trying very hard to spot any instructions on mixing the granules to make into suspension. Finally, the tutor gave up and changed to another question. -_-"
Oh yea, the whole week was spent preparing for FYP Final Presentation due on Saturday morning. So torturous. Nothing can top FYP as the MOST torturous thing to happen in my university life (well, maybe besides having to cope with cancer and doing FYP at the same time)... Not only presentation was due, FYP poster was also due... So, work work work and non-stop work on FYP. Hate it!
Finally on Saturday, 11.20am, I presented. Presentation was kinda messy cause I forgot my script and I forgot to refer to the script I was holding on. Got scared by the 3 examiners there I guess.. and not being able to answer some chemistry questions... zzzz... But it's over! So relieved that I came back to watch 2 episodes of HK dramas and slept! :D Sunday was blissfully spent watching dramas.. I wished!
By the way, I am watching this HK drama called "Death Investigation Extension (D.I.E)"... rather funny show about this police who has special power to connect with the dead. Not a horror show (I do not like watching horror shows and scaring myself)... Finished 12 episodes and am still waiting for episode 13 to be uploaded... Faster than TVB channel on HK TV now... Wahaha...
Sunday morning, KY, CM, HY and I met Laiyi at Sunshine Plaza to print our FYP posters! While waiting for the poster to be printed, we ate at Victor's Kitchen which serves dim sum. This place is recommended by some blogs. The boss, Victor is a Hong Konger and used to work as dim sum chef in HK till he decided to come to Singapore to sell affordable Singapore-styled dim sum. The dim sum were generally good but some had been modified to suit the local taste bud which is not my taste bud...Zzz.. 5 of us shared one glutinous rice in lotus leaf, one bowl of Wala wala porridge (not the pub in Holland V), 2 baskets of siew mai, 2 baskets of har gao, 1 plate of their famous fried shrimp in some wrapping, 1 basket of char siew bao, 1 basket of chicken feet aka known as phoenix claws, 1 plate of shrimp cheong fun, 1 plate of char siew cheong fun and 1 plate of char leung or yiu tiao chang fen as it is known in Sg.For dessert, we shared 1 bowl of their famous "Pomelo Mango dessert", shared cause we were really stuffed towards the end... 3 of us had chinese tea while 2 has chrysanthemum tea. Why? Cause they don't serve tea in the traditional chinese teapot kind where the whole table gets a pot of tea. Instead, chinese tea were served in mugs! Zzz.... The glutinous rice in lotus leaf is good! S$3. big and affordable. I thought the siew mai were rather nice. The chicken feet was Ok too, tastewise. Out of the 3 plates of cheong fun, I think the shrimp was the nicest. My biggest disappointment was the char leung as I was highly anticipating it after trying my first char leung while in HK. The one I had in HK was super nice!(in the pic above) The one in Victor's Kitchen was zzzz... The yiu tiao was too crunchy and more oil and air than flour... The cheong fun wrapping it was a little too thick for my liking. Thus, the combination was weird... The char siew bao was also not as expected. The char siew was too red for my liking and rather sweet. I like them black and fragrant. The dessert was really GOOD though...a little expensive for such a small bowl S$4 but according to the worker, it's made of ALL NATURAL ingredients which might explain the higher price. But it is good! Could have ordered more had we not been totally stuffed at the end. Didn't get to try the carrot cake though. Hmmm..
Overall, it was a rather OK dining experience. But if you want to go on Sunday, please be early. We were too early. Victor's Kitchen opens from Tuesday to Sunday from 10.30am onwards (can't remember the closing time but it's not too early de) @ ground floor of Sunshine Plaza on Bencoolen Street. When we were eating, the queue was SUPER LONG despite the 2 shoplots extension for more customers to sit. Anyway, we spotted a famous wanton noodle shop nearby too.
Collected our posters after the meal and went home to study for Dosage Form Design III Lab diagnostic test...
Had my CT scan and blood test done on Monday morning before rushing back to NUS to take the lab test. Followed by free tea break to celebrate end of lab sessions and pre-final examinations. Zzzz.. the food was rather nice though! Happy! :)
(More on the hospital reporting in the next post..)
Pictures of my Mickey Mouse organiser which I took a while ago. Had been extremely useful in keeping me with my school deadlines + hospital appointments... Love classic Mickey :)
Got a card from Pei Yong. One of my favourite bears -Forever Friends... fat and cute! :) Thank you! This pic was drawn by my ever-talented roommate and labmate and coursemate and same surname-mate, CM! And painted by my ever lovely 404 housemates! by using Photoshop :) Such a colourful and lovely pic! and fairy-tale like. The idea for this picture was started by bored CM and I during the journal club session in school, one afternoon. I drew the rainbow, clouds and sun.. and mountains, while CM modified the rest. HeHe.. And the girls got this pic printed out as an A2 poster for me! Now I can paste it on my wall :)
Ok. The end of my LONG "quick update" -_-" Too overdue that's why it's so long. Next, updates on my health conditions...
Saturday, April 26, 2008,8:10:00 PM
Look what came in the mail on Friday. A postcard from Melbourne. Thanks, Yvonne! :)
Well, I am not giving up on my life but you would not know what will happen. I hope the pain can go away soon. I still have to study for my FINAL final exams and a lot of things to settle.
But I had been advised not to take sweet things cause cancer cells like sugar.. -_-
The everyone who went and Weiying who was the one who took these two pictures
Funny pic of only birdie looking at the camera...
Anyway, the movie was rather good. It felt like a long movie but it was just nicely 2 hours. The actresses were good; besides the 2 leads, the one who played Queen Catherine and the one who played the mother of the Boleyn girls were great as well.
I think Scarlett Johansson is really pretty in this show! I never thought of her as pretty. I think Natalie Portman is pretty although I do not particularly like her but Scarlett was really pretty in this show. Looks better in motion than in pictures, I feel... 
I like Sophia Bush in One Tree Hill and I like her in "The Hitcher". Pretty. 
That was followed by "My Best Friend's Wedding"! An old movie but I never successfully finished watching it. All I ever could remember was the airport scene and I think that's like the earliest scene in the movie. Finally, I finished watching it and it's nice!
Birdie, CM, Swei, weiying, KY, Khimpy, Thunder, Me and xia....
pineapples, professionally cut by KY... and baked by master chef, WX...
Strawberries and kiwis! professionally cut by pretty housewife, Khim and master chef WX again :D
Marie biscuits proudly sponsored by me and bananas, professionally peeled from the comb by me! :D and somebody's hand... 
The main character was chocolate! sponsored by the 404 girls I think... 
Some of the happy pharmies with their choc covered fruits... Love this pic the most... Me love strawberries, me love bananas and me love pineapple! 
All of the pharmies who came... still like to pose with my "Lan Kwai Fong" road sign even after a year.. HeHe.. rather useful souvenir eh?
Master chef, WX's creative work on Marie biscuits.. cute and nice! :D Packed for those who couldn't come... 
The one I had in HK was super nice!(in the pic above) The one in Victor's Kitchen was zzzz... The yiu tiao was too crunchy and more oil and air than flour... The cheong fun wrapping it was a little too thick for my liking. Thus, the combination was weird... The char siew bao was also not as expected. The char siew was too red for my liking and rather sweet. I like them black and fragrant. The dessert was really GOOD though...a little expensive for such a small bowl S$4 but according to the worker, it's made of ALL NATURAL ingredients which might explain the higher price. But it is good! Could have ordered more had we not been totally stuffed at the end. Didn't get to try the carrot cake though. Hmmm.. 
Pictures of my Mickey Mouse organiser which I took a while ago. Had been extremely useful in keeping me with my school deadlines + hospital appointments... Love classic Mickey :)
Got a card from Pei Yong. One of my favourite bears -Forever Friends... fat and cute! :) Thank you!
This pic was drawn by my ever-talented roommate and labmate and coursemate and same surname-mate, CM! And painted by my ever lovely 404 housemates! by using Photoshop :)
