the other nite when i laid down to sleep, i feel some regret over something that happened in the day... to be more exact, i regretted not doing something in the day... then it made me think of all those times that i felt regret... of either doing something that I should not have done... or regret of not doing enough... or regret for not doing anything at all.... Why do we feel regret anyway? I think it's one of the worst feelings ever... and should be deleted from human's program...
I was quite overwhelmed with the feeling of regret after last Wed that every night when I lie down on my bed, the image comes to my mind...
After a week, the feeling slowly starting to drift away....phew... but i know i'll do something real soon that causes more regret... it's a continuous cycle..in my life, at least...
Then tonight, there was this fear in me... not fear of dying or something serious.... a stupid fear i think... or more accurately, fear of doing more things to cause more regret later... but i did it anyway... no regret for now yet... cause still trying to make the situation works... overcome the fear... but my heart was beating so badly, my chest and back ache... I have a weak heart, i guess..
Then I realised, I'm kinda weird lar.... sometimes i do think too much... Even small decision like whether i should do my laundry today or tomorrow will give me extreme headache (as witnessed by ky in the bus during the hols..haha).... or whether i should eat chicken rice or malay food.... whether i should buy Chipsmore or not.... whether to do something or not to do it...and how to do it... can make me really panicky... Must have been too dependent on my parents since young... they will make all the decision.. (although i remember vividly that i made the decision to go to national primary school instead of chinese primary school, cause i was lazy..haha)
haih.....
weird--> fear--> regret--> weird--> fear--> regret My emotional cycle.... plus shortburst of happiness.... shortlived happiness...
